Difference between Ben and Jen’s iso lives
Whether you want to admit it or not, you are always in competition with an ex.
Years can pass and you can both move on with different people and graciously insist you only want the best for each other, but the competition still remains. What are the rules? They're vague. That's what makes competition with the ex so hard. You've got to follow your gut and it's only after you make a poor decision that you realise you've lost points.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are not exempt from this. The former couple got together after co-starring in Pearl Harbour and Daredevil and married in 2005. Ten years and three kids later, they split amid all those nanny rumours and finalised their divorce in 2018.
Since they split, Jennifer has always been in the lead. She scored a million points when she was snapped driving her ex to rehab via a McDonald's drive-thru. That alone catapulted her ahead and, really, will keep her in first place for eternity.
We love Ben but he always seems like he's very irritated and needs a really long nap - and we can relate to that, which is why we sympathise. Even so, the competition doesn't stop.
How are they faring in isolation? You better believe Jen is still winning.
When lockdown hit, Ben shacked up with his new girlfriend, actress Ana de Armas. They met while filming Deep Water and have been inseparable since March. It's a newish romance that has been shoved into lockdown a little prematurely.
New relationships are fun because of that initial carefree phase where you're both your best selves and always looking fresh. Because of lockdown, they've jumped straight to the slob phase of the relationship. But 31-year-old Ana's making the most of it. Despite people across the globe locking themselves inside, Ana and Ben are using it as a way to flaunt their relationship while the streets are empty.
While all the celebs are locked up in their gated communities, Ana's dragging Ben out everyday and waltzing around the block with their array of dogs as the paparazzi snap away. Ben looks like he's in hell, but that's just him any day. And Ana's got to make the most of her current situation. She's starring in the new James Bond flick No Time To Die and its April release date has been shoved back until November. She needs to stay in the headlines and milk the A-list romance for all it's worth.
And if that means pulling on a one thousand dollar Zimmermann dress to walk the dogs in endless daily laps around the block with her action star fella - like she did this week - than so be it. We're all just doing what we need to do right now.
They're even sharing shirts. Ben has been snapped wearing his green Frank & Eileen button-up shirt while doing the coffee run. A few weeks later, Ana chucked it on over a sports bra to go run errands.
Apart from that, the only other thing Ben's doing is getting bulk orders of meat delivered.
Someone needs to bust into their house, open a window and chuck on a load of laundry.
Speaking of doing laundry, what's Jennifer Garner doing in all this? Killing it. That's what she's doing. She's spending her days quietly killing it.
Last Tuesday she posted a video to Instagram of herself doing loads of washing while dancing and sipping red wine in her laundry that's the size of my apartment. She followed it up with a video of herself making biscotti.
As if that wasn't enough, then she was papped stapling rainbow ribbons to trees in the front garden of her Brentwood home to celebrate the Memorial Day Weekend with her kids.
She's happy, she's having fun, she's wearing activewear and she looks terrific. What else is she doing to fill her days? Obviously she's busy as is, but she's still finding time to squeeze in extra curriculars. She's out jogging with girlfriends. She's taking her kids to drive-by birthday parties. And when she hits the bricks with her kids to take the dog for a walk, she even gets the family cat involved by strapping it into a pram.
Ugh, off the charts. There aren't enough points to award Jennifer in this competition. She's got her damn cat in a pram.
Ben tried to gain some points this week by dragging the kids out on Ana's daily dog walks, but it wasn't the same. They didn't even have a cat in a pram. Ben would absolutely not be able to tolerate a cat in a bloody pram. And that's why Jen will always win.
Originally published as Difference between Ben and Jen's iso lives