A young mum has gone online asking for help to manage her mother-in-law. Picture: iStock
A young mum has gone online asking for help to manage her mother-in-law. Picture: iStock

‘My mother-in-law wants me out’

UNPLANNED pregnancies can be tricky to navigate, especially if you're not financially prepared for a new addition to the household.

So when one mum's mother-in-law agreed to take both her and her partner in to help ease the strain, she was grateful and relieved.

But while the arrangement ran smoothly during her pregnancy, things seem to have taken a turn for the worse after her baby's arrival six days ago, and the new mum has been left with the feeling her MIL 'wants her out' of her house.

Confused (and no doubt emotional), the 24-year-old turned to the popular parenting forum Mumsnet to seek advice.

"Since the baby has been born, she's really taken over"

"I gave birth 6 days ago and I am living with my DP [dear partner's] family and will be until probably early next year," she wrote.

"The pregnancy was unplanned, we have no money and my DP's parents have been kind enough to take us in. My DP starts a new higher paid job in September and I'll go back to work in January. So this is just temporary and we will be back on our feet shortly.

"My MIL was lovely to me during my pregnancy and we went out together a few times. But since the baby has been born, she's really taken over."

"I just feel like I am a burden and she wants me out"

The new mum went onto describe how she feels her MIL is hogging the baby, and how she feels like she's not welcome in the house anymore.

"She keeps telling me to go upstairs so that she can feed the baby and kept refusing to give the baby back to me when I asked. It's very overwhelming and tough for me as I am her mum and want to look after her myself! I am perfectly able to do so," she wrote.

"She keeps referring to the baby as 'her baby' too, it's very frustrating. She has been shunning me a lot and I feel very upset and alone.

"DP says that it's all fine, but I can definitely sense some hostility. He also refuses to move before we can really afford it, we'd be struggling for money, which of course makes sense.

"I just feel like I am a burden and she wants me out and have my DP and baby there alone. She's been away for a few days and I sent her a message thanking her for how she was with me when I was pregnant; she read it but didn't respond. What do I do?"

"Get out while you can!"

The woman's post attracted lots of attention online, with most people urging her to seek other accommodation options.

"You urgently find a way of moving out as quickly as possible," wrote one woman. "It sounds incredibly stressful.

"DP might say it's fine but he's presumably at work while you're stuck at home with the baby stealing maniac. It's YOUR baby. You get to feed him/her. NO ONE gets to take them off you and refuse to give them back. That's insane."

Another suggested they move out ASAP and she go back to work earlier to help with the financial side of things, while another advised: "Sounds like she thinks your work is done and you're not needed anymore. Get out while you can."

24 and terrified

Concerned posters asked the new mum if she had anywhere else to go, to which she replied she did not.

"I'm very worried because if his parents kick me out then I will be homeless," she wrote. "I'm terrified that they're going to kick me out and keep the baby."

Many mums advised it was time to take a stand against both her partner and MIL, including getting a lock on their bedroom door.

"Oh you poor thing," sympathised one commenter. "Can you address this with her directly (in a nice way) face-to-face? Ask her if everything's okay - express that you appreciate being able to stay there but she really doesn't need to worry about looking after baby so much etc - try and hammer the point home with bright politeness so it doesn't become an argumentative situation?

"Your DP really should stick up for you though - it's not on that you feel like this and he's doing nothing about it."

"Be firm with her every single time," wrote another. "Say out loud that she's your baby and you want her with you. Do not give in to her."

Seek help

Sensibly, some other posters suggested she seek advice from a professional.

"Take the baby with you to the doctors," wrote one person. "Say it's a check up or something (or you could tell the health visitor - but you may not be private).Tell the doctor what is happening - they may be able to point you in the right direction for help."

This story originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.


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