Mum slammed for sharing unthinkable birth decision


If the unthinkable happens during birth, difficult decisions might need to be made, but one mum has faced criticism for sharing her choice publicly.

Picture: Stock
Picture: Stock iStock

As you prepare to give birth, you're faced with a number of decisions, whether it's hospital or home, finalising your birth plan, picking a name or just figuring out what to pack in your hospital bag.

One decision we all hope we're never faced with is the life or death choice of saving either the mother or the baby should something go catastrophically wrong during the birth. Most people find even the thought of this too difficult to dwell on, but some couples do go into the birth making their preference known to one another.

One US mum took to Reddit to vent after she faced a lot of criticism when she shared her decision with her friends.

She wanted to have the conversation before birth

"So my daughter was born 2 years ago, I had a very good pregnancy but developed gestational diabetes at 32 weeks (due to me being overweight I was checking my sugar levels every other day)," she wrote.

"Due to this my OBGYN scheduled a cesarean. I didn't have any issues with this I just wanted my baby to be born safely. So before going into the hospital I talked with my husband [and said] that if something were to happen and he needed to choose between myself and our baby to please choose me."

The woman said her husband agreed with her choice and thankfully, the birth went just fine and both mum and baby were perfectly healthy. When it came time to try for her second baby the woman found herself in a conversation with a friend about whether she was ready to face similar complications again.

"I said that I do want another baby and that pregnancy doesn't scare me such as giving birth again," she wrote. "I said that I straight told my husband again that I'm scared that something may happen to me during the birth and in the hopes of giving my daughter a sibling I could leave her without a mother."

The woman explained her original decision to save her own life over her baby's if something went wrong and said that this would still stand for the second birth.

In the Hospital, Close-up on a Woman in Labor Pushing Hard to Give Birth, Obstetricians Assisting, Spouse Holds Her Hand. Modern Maternity Hospital with Professional Midwives.

This didn't go down well

My friends were disgusted with my thinking and said that I was an asshole to my husband in asking him to basically kill his baby (those were the exact words), that I was a very negative person and that I needed to rethink my thoughts," the woman wrote.

"I'm a person that likes to be prepared for the worst-case scenario and hope for the best.

"I didn't want my husband to be blindsided with who to choose and to have the answer on the spot. Nobody likes to think about what could go wrong especially in a pregnancy but I need to think every possible case that we could encounter."

The woman asked Reddit if she was wrong for her choices, or if her friends were being unreasonable, and she got a lot of support.

 "I strongly advocate for this," said one commenter. "You should not prioritize a baby over keeping the mother alive. Women are not just incubators but people in our own right. Any doctor or midwife who believes the mother's life is secondary is a misogynist."

Another added, "these are conversations that are necessary to have, especially when faced with an already difficult pregnancy/birth."

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