TREASURED MEMORIES: Dylan Farrar, Sue West and their 17-month-old daughter Zara wish they had more time to spend with baby Indi Sky after she died in January.
TREASURED MEMORIES: Dylan Farrar, Sue West and their 17-month-old daughter Zara wish they had more time to spend with baby Indi Sky after she died in January. Tessa Mapstone

Parents to help others in their grief

DAD Dylan Farrar was not at ease until he held his baby daughter's ashes in his arms at home in Kingaroy.

Indi Sky Farrar was born on January 1 and after a short and painful struggle with a rare condition, her parents Dylan and Sue West made the heartbreaking decision to switch off her life support on January 31.

After Indi was born, doctors found a huge benign tumour in her chest that crushed her lung, bent her ribs out of shape and pushed her organs out of place.

Her mother Sue West said because Indi was connected to machines for all of her short life, her family was only able to hold her for a few hours each day.

"I wish we could have brought her home."

Grandmother Julie Farrar said the whole family knew they had to make the most of the time they had with Indi.

"She had the most beautiful head of hair, we got so excited just to go in and brush that," she said.

"And we got smiles, jeez did we get some smiles every day.

"We sort of knew we had to create memories so we went silly.

"We even went up to the hospital late at night and played her music, and just sung her nursery rhymes, told her stories.

"She gave us a great month."

For the family, including Indi's big sister Zara, the precious seven hours they had with Indi after she died were not long enough and waiting for Indi's body to come home was unbearable.

Mrs Farrar said she and Rod were lucky enough to hold Indi before she died.

"What broke my heart is my little granddaughter (Zara) didn't get to hold her little sister until after she had passed," she said.

"It was so hard for Zara, she just wanted to touch her, just wanted to cuddle her.

Mr Farrar said he and Ms West wanted to give parents more time with their babies who were stillborn or died as infants.

The couple will buy a Cuddle Cot for Kingaroy Hospital, which would give parents up to 36 hours with their baby after death.

"We want other parents to have the experience that we unfortunately didn't get."

FAMILY LOVE: Big sister Zara wanted nothing more than to cuddle her baby sister Indi.
FAMILY LOVE: Big sister Zara wanted nothing more than to cuddle her baby sister Indi. Contributed

Cuddle Cot gives parents more time with their child

THE Cuddle Cot is a small basinet fitted with a cooling system.

The cooling allows babies who have died with their families for up to 36 hours, allowing family members to grieve and say goodbye.

Sue West and Dylan Farrar had only seven hours to spend with Indi, and family members from Charleville did not have the chance to see her.

Kingaroy Hospital Women's and Children's Services nurse unit manager Stacey Smith said while still births and infant deaths were not common at the hospital, the Cuddle Cot would be a welcome gift.

"The selfless actions of local residents Dylan Farrar and Sue West will give families experiencing this trauma the choice to spend more time with their baby," she said.

"On behalf of the Kingaroy Hospital, I thank Dylan and Sue for their gesture and wish them the very best in their fundraising efforts."

Indi's grandmother Julie Farrar said the family hoped the cot would make a difference to families going through the same thing they did.

"These Cuddle Cots can give up to 36 hours plus," she said.

"Some parents would only spend a couple of hours.

"It's all by their own choice and everyone is different."

IN MEMORY: Indi Sky Farrar's legacy will be the gift her parents wish they could have had with her after she passed away: more time.
IN MEMORY: Indi Sky Farrar's legacy will be the gift her parents wish they could have had with her after she passed away: more time. Contributed
  • Cuddle Cot costs about $5500. The family hopes to donate one to Kingaroy Hospital and one to the Mater Mother's Hospital in Brisbane where Indi spent much of her short life.
  • Dylan and Sue are collecting donations to help buy the cots.
  • Visit gofundme to donate.
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