The worst Coronavirus baby names

The COVID-19 pandemic has given rise to a new wave of questionable baby names. You might want to sit down for this.

COVID AND CORONA (TWINS). An Indian couple named their twins - who were born during lockdown - Covid (boy) and Corona (girl). "We wished to ease the anxiety and fear associated with these words and also make the occasion memorable," said proud mama Preeti. That's very generous… let's hope the twins see it that way when they grow up.

KO'RONA VYRESS. This pearl comes from a meme that's been circulating on social media. I don't think there's an actual human baby with this name… yet.

LOCKDOWN. A baby boy born in the state of Uttar Pradesh in India has been given this unique moniker. "We appreciate Prime Minister Narendra Modi's efforts to enforce lockdown and save the people from corona pandemic," said the baby's father, Pawan. "The lockdown is in national interest and so we decided to name the child as Lockdown."

KOVYD. A photo of a whiteboard filled with hilarious COVID-19 baby name suggestions did the rounds on Facebook and this was one of the top picks. The butchered spelling that includes trendy letters "K" and "Y" is on point.

COVID BRYANT. Twitter user Niña Cayosa claims she heard of a Manila woman who named her baby Covid Bryant in honour of the virus and the late Kobe Bryant. There's no evidence to support her claim, but it set the Twitterverse alight.

COVID ROSE. There's an actual photo of a birth certificate from Manila to support this one! Some claim there was also a Covid Lorraine born somewhere in the Philippines, but I can't find any official documentation to prove it.

COVIDUVIDAPDAP. Another gem from the Philippines, Coviduvidapdap is a real child as evidenced by a real birth certificate posted on the internet.

PANDEMICA. I made this one up! Do you like it? I feel it has a nice apocalyptic ring to it. You're welcome.

QUARANTINA. Kudos to the person who came up with all the names on the whiteboard - this is another gem! For some reason, it has me singing, "quarantina quarantina lalalala macarena" and doing stupid dance moves.

KOVVY. You laugh now, but I guarantee you this name will crop up in the next 12 months. "It's a subtle nod to a defining moment in human history," I can just imagine Kovvy's parents saying.

EMPORIA . See what I did here? It's a toilet paper brand! Quiltonia and Sorbentina sounded just plain dumb, but I think Emporia has a solid chance of making it onto a child.

COVIDA. Another selection from the whiteboard of death, Covida is going to be a huge hit worldwide.

SANNY. Sonny and Sunny have already gone gangbusters in the hipster underworld, so why not this cheerful tribute to hand sanitiser?

K-VID. Remember Britney Spears's estranged husband K-Fed? I know he's SO two decades ago, but he was nevertheless my muse in the creation of this hyphenated nugget.

MYKORONA. I can't help belting this one out to the tune of "My Sharona" every time they read it. I enjoy its musicality.

HOARDIA. Admit it: you hoarded toilet paper. You hoarded sani. You hoarded baked beans. Why not own your true nature and name your daughter Hoardia? You know you want to.

COVE. Oooh, this is a sweet little diminutive for a global pandemic! I can get on board with this one.

CORA. Is it me or are we getting subtler and more refined as we move down the list? You can tell people you were "vaguely inspired" by the virus.

CHARMIN. I've heard rumours that this American toilet paper brand will take off as a baby name. I believe it to be true.

VYRUZ. What a winner! It has a sexy Spanish ring to it like Cruz and it contains three of those end-of-alphabet letters that seem so popular these days. I see it heading to number one.

This originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.
 


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